I remembered the first time I heard it, I thought it was very clever. Educating young boys to respect a girl’s wish to not be touched. Also, educating young girls to respect themselves and say no if they don’t want to be touched and not having to give a reason why she’s saying NO.
Human beings don’t really work that way. When emotions and feelings are running the part, we become unpredictable. At least for teenagers they are experimenting, learning, with their emotions all over the place and the need to fit in and belong.
I know some adults unable to say NO… out of fear. Irrational and limiting fear, even though they are able to kick your butt on the job. Sometimes, the need to be loved is so strong, that there are no more place for reasons.
So now, try to teach that to teenagers… there were some pretty cool activities during the program and boys and girls could express their feelings and they all got some great tools for communicating. But in the moment, when it’s happening and fear takes over, will they remember they just have to say NO? Or that boy, will he remember that she really means no?
I worked with teenagers for many years and even after the program, I kept having girls coming into my office afraid of being pregnant because the guy didn’t want to put a condom; afraid of being assaulted by 2 or more guys in a corner…. and when I asked if they said no, they looked at me with teary eyes and the best excuses. I just hugged them.
I am the mother of a boy, now a fine young man, and I didn’t teach him to respect girls. No, I taught him to respect himself and along the way he got how to respect anyone. When a girl says no, or she clearly doesn’t look comfortable, respect yourself and your integrity. How would you look at yourself in the mirror after?
There is no such thing as she-said-no-but-she-meant-yes…. NO, is a complete sentence.
With great respect and love!
The blog discovery of the day :
Writebackwards: Motivational post-its. Inspiring and efficient! Letter N is for Never give up! I tend to forget that one…